Today is my 1 month anniversary since I’ve started compounded androgel (testosterone)!
This is very exciting. I have not really experienced much in changes this week. Again, I’ve been really hardcore stressed out, but thankfully I will be enjoying a fall break through this long weekend from school. I spent this last weekend at home with my partner and our dogs.
I found a really great app on my phone that has been quite useful in times of dysphoric distress. It’s called “Phillips Grooming app” or something like that. Here are some pictures of me:
This last week I kept to my goal of socializing at least once and I went with a friend to the Grindflicks event with the tickets he won from cheesy movie trivia and had a very good time watching films I never would have really given the chance to watch. It was so much fun and a sleazy good time!
I still have a lot of work to do for final projects. I have only 3 more weeks left of this semester. It really flew by. I only have two days of class this week. Weather permitting, I hope to make it back home again.
Here is a picture of me diligently working on homework this weekend.
I’ve been emailing back and forth with a professor this semester and am making a plan for the path to grad school. I’m very interested in the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee for their cinema and media studies program. I also aspire to go even further and earn a Phd someday too. I will be taking a year off post-undergrad to save money, study and take the GRE, and improve my sentence structure/grammar fundamentals. I feel less stressed when I have a future plan. A lot of my depression this week has been ruminations about how I’m almost 30 and have no means to be fully independent or just the typical college senior angst of “What am I going to do after college? Will I find a job back home?” things of that nature which I think are pretty normal. I know I shouldn’t judge myself too harshly or base my worth around the ‘American Dream’ because I don’t fit into the right mold for that and there are factors beyond my control. As an artist and visionary, I have to carve my own path.
This week I will be calling my endocrinologist and ask for a potential increase on the dosage. To be honest, there really hasn’t been that noticeable of changes….and it seriously makes dysphoria even harder. When I’m called, “ma’am” at a store or whatever, I just imagine that they called me “Man” instead just to cope.
I’ve also been eating a little bit healthier again since I decided to finally go grocery shopping. I also hope to make it to the gym twice this week.
I hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving full of food, fun, and gratitude.
All the best,