A pretty big thing has happened during month 5 of my transition. My lunar cycle has officially ended! I no longer have that monthly flow of the goddess.
My voice has gotten a little bit lower and I’m getting a bit more body hair.
I’ve also changed my eating a bit. It’s always been a goal of mine to eat more of a whole foods plant based diet. I started eating quinoa everyday, and my craving for red meat has gone down exponentially. I think it’s because quinoa has a full amino acid profile. I’ve actually had a lot of fun making vegetarian recipes, and I think once I eat the rest of the fish and eggs I have in my apartment I may try full vegetarian—maybe even vegan. My skin has started to clear up way more since I cut out chicken, dairy, and red meat. I suppose it must be the hormones in the meat that gave me outbreaks.
I still exercise at home. It’s strange how last year I was obsessively going to the gym 7 days a week–I never let my body rest. Now I exercise 3-4 times per week at home doing HIIT and resistant band training and bodyweight exercises. My weight hasn’t changed from 131. Before I started T, my weight was at 125. So, in 5 months I gained only 6lbs.
The last 2 weeks I’ve experienced some really bad back, shoulder, and neck pain. It’s really hindered my ability to do HIIT and resistant band training. I decided to try doing yoga and it’s really helped with pain management. I’m allergic to Ibuprofen. Sometimes, the pain is so bad that I take it anyway–but later I have to deal with painful canker sores on my tongue. It’s not fun. OTC pain pills are not the best option. From now on, it’ll be stretching and tiger balm for me.
I have a little more of a month until graduation! I picked up my cap, gown, and honor cords. I was also asked to speak at the Lavender Graduation. It’s for LGBTQIA individuals in the Tri-college area, and I’m very honored to do so.
I’m nervous and excited to reach the 6 month mark. I had made a deal with myself that it would be on the 6th month I would officially come-out as medically transitioning.
One of the things that has been most difficult is how alienated I feel from the trans community. I don’t see myself anywhere, I don’t look like other genderqueer/nonbinary/transmen. I know I know, who cares—-I just really don’t care for the gate-keeping gender-policing I’ve experienced from other transmen. That I should cut my hair or act ‘macho’ and sexist. That says more about their insecurities, and I get that—but it sucks being a lone wolf without a pack when it comes to being a transgender man. I’m not alone because I have my partner, but I need a welcoming community with other transmen who share my experiences too that I can get support from. I may try and initiate something when I move back, but I don’t have too much hope for Bismarck, ND.
I hope I start having visible facial hair soon.