Long time no update. I’ve been laying low over the past couple of months.
At the end of October I went for a really rejuvenating philosophical hike in the North Dakota Badlands.
November rolled around and so did the Election….
after that I went off the deep end and obsessively built a stone oven to bake bread in. I went on a bread baking kick for a solid month.
I flirted with the idea of baking bread for the farmers markets next season and so I made my own logo:
Here’s a picture of me for November 22nd,
This season we’ve been having some severe winter storms and so for awhile I shoveled snow for extra cash.
The holidays came around and I made my own Yulelog with wood-burned runes
On December 21st after many hurdles I finally got my gender-marker changed on my license and Social Security. That’s a huge relief.
For a Christmas present to myself I got this really nifty cardigan…
Yes…a Nessie cardigan.
…I really have a thing for the Loch Ness Monster.
I made a new friend:
I got two articles published:
I also finally got a new job. Since the holiday season is over sub-jobs have become very few and far between. I got hired as a mental health technician for a non-profit here in town. For the next few weeks I’ll be training for various certifications as a nurse aid, medication assistant, first aid/cpr and so on. So far, I’m enjoying the training. What’s really kind of beautiful is how this is actually the foundation that helped me during a very rough time 5 years ago. 5 years ago I was a client, and now 5 years later I’m a support professional for people that are in a similar place I was in. It’s like things fell into place and coming full circle.
Applying for a job while transgender is very difficult because of background checks requiring you put any other names you’ve had in the last 10 years. It’s like a legal nonconseual outing. I was misgendered at my interview right away which was awkward. I really wanted to be stealth at this job, but that is not possible. I haven’t said anything about being trans, just that I’m actually a man. And it’s also interesting that a support professional that works here remembers me from 5 years ago. I don’t know if she has said anything to anyone. While I’m sure people here would be accepting of a transgender man, the point is that I had no power in whether or not to disclose that information about myself. I felt a sense of grief about it, because I’ve worked so hard to be seen and understood as a man. I can’t constantly be an educator, and sometimes frankly it’s nobodies business to know that information about me. Anyway, I digress. I am looking forward to finally having a stable job and income!
When I was a teenager, I never had acne. I may have had the occasional zit here or there, and even into my mid-twenties I’d get some zits. Ever since a month or so ago I have reached peak break-outs. It’s severe cystic acne. I never had this as a kid, and so this has been a very overwhelming experience.
I finally went to the walk-in clinic and got some antibiotics and a retinol ointment. Hopefuly things will start to heal up. I had tried every thing possible.
My nighty routine has been oil cleansing with castor oil, jojoba, and tea tree and then putting the med on before bed.
Things have been clearing up a little bit. I must admit that this has really hit me hard in the self-esteem deptartment. Again, I’ve never dealt with this before. I knew that T can cause acne and this is basically puberty 2.0, but I didn’t think it would be this severe or painful. It’s really, really painful. Putting a shirt on over my head causes pain. Yikes.
I’ve been very adamant about the kinds of foods I’m eating too.
Due to the threat of my healthcare being jeopardized I will be moving back to my college town this spring so that I will have access to trans health care. The future feels so uncertain.
Anyway, sorry for such a long delay in keeping you all up to date. I will try to do better at writing.
All the best,